Teaching a Child to Drive

Teaching driver’s education takes special attention from parents if the child is going to learn to drive well.

While varying by state, generally there is a date (around 16 years) when a learner’s permit can be obtained.  Each child in my house passed the learner’s permit test without issue…here’s how:

You’ve got to let the child drive.

Counterintuitive? Perhaps.  Illegal?  It depends.

Around the age of 12, I let the child drive for the first time in the most controlled conditions I could muster.  Generally this involved a friend’s empty field or a huge parking lot of a vacant store/factory/office building (often on a Sunday morning.)

My preference is to use a car with a centrally located hand brake…one I could easily operate from the passenger seat.

Without anyone else in attendance, I patiently took the child through the steps.  

• Walk around the car checking for any damage or flat tires.  Watching for traffic, get in the car.  Adjust the seat/steering wheel.  Put on seatbelts.  Adjust the mirrors. 

• Locate the headlights, the wipers, and the turn signals.

• Practice braking (yes, before the car is started), learn the handbrake, see the accelerator.

• Start the car.  Sit in the running car taking it all in.  (Radio off.)  No need to do anything yet.  Turn the steering wheel.  Stop the car.  Turn the steering wheel again (it turns, just really hard without power steering.)

• Re-start the car.  Put the car in drive, with foot on brake.  Look in mirrors and around the car.  Take foot off brake.  Let car roll 10 feet.  Stop car.

At this point, 30 minutes have passed.  This is not a rush…take your time….you have years before you drive.

Look in mirrors and around the car.  Take foot off brake.  Let car roll….slowly.  Make a trip around the parking lot.  (All the time, my hand is on the emergency brake, and my head is on a swivel, looking for ANYTHING.)  Stop car.

That’s it, Day One.  The child will go home, and tell the family they drove.  You will get the “hairy eyeball”, and must continue.

Few things concerned me more as a father than watching the kids drive off the driveway by themselves the first time.  While driving school is mandatory, butt-in-seat time is mandatory.  Safety is paramount, starting with seat belts.

I used to road rally cars, and saw many cars upside down in ditches.  Simply put: people with seat belts walked away.  People without seat belts often got carried away.

This type of driving practice goes on for once every month or two.  Always start the same way and with the same exercises.  Then slowly work up to more advanced exercises….

• park in the 5^th parking spot.

• Stop car, turn it off, everyone out, and examine how they did.

• Try again (or try again BACKING in.)

The idea is to give the child confidence.  Confidence is not cockiness, cars can kill.  They need to understand.

Repeat this in light snow.  Most empty lots are not plowed.  Let them experience a slight slide in the car (don’t go so fast the car flips if it hits a dry spot!!)  Let them see how locking up a car on ice is worse than slow steady pressure.  (I still do this myself during the first snow!)

As a parent, you are teaching the child a skill.  Hopefully a skill they will use a lifetime.

As a parent, you must “stay cool” the entire time.  You can’t exhibit nervousness, or the child will be nervous.  If you are a nervous driver, consider getting someone else to do this.

I would put myself into an aware-trance.  I was hyper-aware of what was going on, and being encouraging, however would not allow myself to get nervous or raise my voice.

On a nice day, and with time, I would have them change a tire.  This is a skill everyone should know how to do, although I did give each of my kids a AAA card when they got their license.  Parents have to pay attention, and make sure the car doesn’t fall while on the jack!!

Personally, I learned on a standard (stick) and am comfortable driving a stick.  Unfortunately, we didn’t always have a non-automatic for the child to learn on.

I never let the kids drive on a public street, or when someone else entered the area (by foot or by car.)

By the time they get to the learner’s permit stage, they are already well versed in the basics.  Keeping their speed down is then the next challenge.

And if you’re scoring, while they all had accidents in their first couple years driving, only one was serious (thank goodness for Volvo) and only one was caused by one of them (minor - backing up in a driveway.)  Are they perfect?  No.  And they are all still driving with confidence.

What did you do to help your kids drive?  Any funny stories?  Or is it all in front of you?