My kids made some of their biggest personal growth advancements during their teenage years. And it was not easy. There is no sugar coating it; and this post shares some stories and frustrations.
I loved the “terrible twos.” The little people were out trying to explore and develop themselves. One could argue the same occurs during the teen years…but it is different. Very different.
When I ask someone how old their kids are, and I hear “x-teen”, I shake my head.
If early teen, I assure the parent they are NOT about to become very stupid. And they need to say goodbye to their kids for a decade or so.
Late teens, the discussion becomes “how bad is it?” And it is the same around the world; I’ve checked with parents around the US, Hong Kong, and India.
While there are times they will be delightful, at other times it is miserable to be with them. I observed the negative begins to emerge either when they discover the opposite sex OR get a driver’s license….someone once said it is when they discover “freedom.”
Two working parents recently shared stories of physicality and verbal torrents. One mother countered a male son who was saying “Fuck you” with “Do you know what that means? Is that what you really want to do.” Of course, this question was met with, “That’s perverted.”
When one offered removing a door because of slamming, the other immediately shared they had done the same thing.
Door and door jam replacements were experienced due to damage.
There once was a time when sending the child to their room was a bit of a time out. Today, this must be met with turning off electronic devices, otherwise the teen is being sent to Disneyland. Shutting off the internet at the router, and turning off cell phones at the carrier were shared.
I can truly say I don’t know how to survive the teen years harmoniously. I often wonder if I was just the same (I do remember breaking down a door to get into a locked house when my parents were away….)
You and the teen will emerge from this. You will learn to converse and not hear, “whatever.”
If you have any suggestions on surviving the teen years, please share!