My kids, their spouses and fiancés and I share pictures, bad jokes and general updates on a group messaging list. One “text” message goes to the whole group. It’s handy when reaching everyone is important.
A recent message touched my heart. My son sent out a text regarding his newborn….
I miss Lea :(
He had just gone back to work after living in the bubble of experiencing her birth and bringing the little one home.
It made me think of all the times I missed my kids…
- When I went to work – and also when I had to stay late, or got a call during an event. The kids were always “safe,” so it was just me missing them (and sometimes feeling guilt.)
- When they went to school (first day) – Kindergarten was bad enough, but the tears dropping them off at college were poignant. I never had any real concerns in the local school system. We always felt the teachers and administrators had our childrens’ best interests at heart.
College was some of the longest times apart and certainly offered the kids their greatest growth opportunities. We looked forward to their return and seeing how they developed. And I was generally unaware of the things they did in college. This was nature’s way of keeping me calm. After all, I know what I did. - When someone was away on a trip – I missed them when I travelled, and certainly missed them when they went away. Generally speaking I travelled for work, and they did summer camp trips from time to time. In our case they were always close enough to rescue (such as when a religious camp made a bit of a left turn, or when a youngster was a bit too young for an overnight football camp.)
- When they moved out – my kids moved in and out a bit after college before settling on “out.” My daughter had been home three months when she announced, “Dad, our town is DULL.” Of course, I immediately knew where the conversation was going, and replied, “I know, isn’t it just wonderful?” And yes, I helped move her. The house is quiet now, and while there were times when the noise of competing entertainment outlets drove me nutty, I can honestly say I miss seeing them regularly.
- The first time they drove on their own out of the yard – I’m a big believer in getting kids behind the wheel and comfortable. Accidents for new drivers are commonplace, allowing me to expand my horizons and be on a first name basis with the auto body shop. Even with all the training and supervised driving, the first solo trip put my heart in my throat and had me on edge until they returned.
They were also missed during catrosophes….at least until we could hold them:
- 9/11
- Accidents – when you find out your child is being taken to the hospital in an ambulance (Note to hospital administrators: parents can focus on health insurance questions AFTER seeing their children are safe…not before)
- Boston Marathon 2013 – when you escape injury unscathed and your daughter is still on the course running.
- And I can’t imagine the feelings of loss when a child pre-deceases a parent.
On a normal basis, I recognize my kids are doing what they are supposed to do, as am I, and we’ll be together again soon. It is the “normal.”
Your kids are also missed when you write a blog post about missing them….so allow me to wrap this and call my kids.
Once last question: when do you miss your kids?