Want email updates from me?
Want more unvarnished truth?
Looking for something? Look here!
What I'm saying now
What you're saying...
I think tag clouds are pretty, and not to be taken overly seriously
111 Chop House 75 on Liberty Wharf 9/11 A Broth of a Boy ABCs Abiouness accountability activities alcohol Allora Ristorante Analysis Angry Hams ANSI/TIA 942 Anthony's Pier 4 Apple Application Armsby Abbey Arsenal Arturo's Ristorante Ashland AT&T Audio Automation baby Baby Monitor babysitting Back To School Bad News Bangkok Thai Bar Bay State Common baystateparent BBQ BCP BeeZers Before I die I want to... behavior Big Bang Bike Bill of Rights Bistro Black Box BlackBerry Boston Boston Marathon boundaries Boyston BPO brand Breakfast Bridge Bring Your Own Technology Budget Burlington Burn Burrito buyer BYOD Cabling Cambridge Camp Campaign career Casey's Diner Castle casual cCabling Cell Phone Central Square Change Management Cheers Chef Sun ChengDu Chet's Diner Children Chinese Christmas Christmas Families Holiday CIO Cloud coddle collage College College Acceptance co-lo Co-Location Co-Location Tier Power Cooling Comfort Food Control Country Country Kettle Crisis customer dad Dad Phrases damage daredevil Data Center Data Center Design Davios Day Care Dead Death declaration Del Frisco's Design Desktop Video dinner Disaster Recovery Divorce Do Epic Shit dodgeball Downtown Crossing DR driving Droid Easter Economic Kids Edaville Education Elbow Night Elevator Employee Engagement Erin Etiquette Evaluation events Exchange Expiration Dates Facebook Failing family Fatherhood Favorite things Flash Flemings Fogo de Chão Food Hits and Misses Format Foundry on Elm Foxborough Frameworks fraternity Fraud French Fried Clams friends fun Fusion Generations germs Girl Scouts girls Global Go/No Go GPS Grafton Grandchild Grandpa Harry's hazing Healthcare Healthy Choices while Dining Out Help Desk Hisa Japanese Cuisine Historic holiday Home hope Horizons hose Hot Dog Hurricane IIT Assessment incident Indecision Indian Infrastructure Inn Innovation Internet Inventory Management iPhone IT IT Assessment IT Satisfaction Italian Jack Daniels Jakes Restaurant Janet Japanese Jazz Joey's Bar and Grill JP's Khatta Mitha kickball kids Laid off Lakes Region Lala Java Leadership Learning legacy Legal Harborside Les Zygomates L'Espalier Liberty Wharf lights out Linguine's loss Love Lucky's Cafe M&M Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade mai tai Managed Application Services Managed Services managers Mandarin Manners Mark Fidrych marriage Mary Chung mass save Maxwell-Silverman Mediterranean meetings Memorial Day memory Mendon Mergers Mexican MiFi Migration Ming III miss MIT MIT CIO Symposium Mobility Moes Hot Dog Truck MOM money Mother Moving on Name neanderthal neighborhood Network New York Marathon newborn Northborough Not Your Average Joe's Nuovo Nursing On-Call Operations Operators Oregon Club Organization Pancakes Pandemic Parental Control Parenting Patch Peeves People Perserverance UMASS growth Play Plug and Run Predictable Pride Problem Process Production program Project Management propane PTA. PTO PUE QR Quick Response Rant Real Estate Realtor Recognition Red Rock Resiliency Respect restaurant Restaurant Guy RFP ribs Ritual Root Cause Analysis Sam Adams Sandy Sapporo savings School Sea Dog Brewing Company Sea Dog Steak and Ale Seafood Seaport Security Sel de la Terra Service Service Desk Service Indicator Light sharing SHIRO Shit Pump Shriners SHTF Simplification Skunk Works Skype Sleep sleepovers Sloan Smith & Wollensky soccer Son SOP sorority spanking Squarespace staffing Starbucks Status Reporting Steak Steve Jobs Storage Strategy stress Summer Sushi swimming Tacos Acalpulco teacher Technology Teen Telephony Temperature Strip Tenka terrorist Testing Texas BBQ Company Text Thai Thanksgiving in IT The Mooring Thomas Thought Leader Three Gorges III TIA 942 Timesheets Toby Keith Toddlers traditions Transition treehouse turnover TV Twitter unspoken moments Valentine's Day Value Vendor Venezuelan Verizon Vermont Video Vietnamese voice VoIP Watertown Wedding Westborough Korean Restaurant Westborough MA. StormCam WiFI Wi-Fi Wilbraham Wine Worcester work work life balance working Yama Zakura Zem Han Zitis

Entries in Sleep (2)

Monday
Mar172014

Say Hello to Sleep

Two recent days presented me the opportunity to see two new mothers.  One you’ve met before as she struggled with her return to work decision.  (She goes back full time next month.)  The other is a very new mother.  Both shared a bleary eyed look.

“He is so smart.  He’s only willing to have mom’s milk, and gets up every couple hours.  I’m simply exhausted.”  While I’m sure the three month old is smart, somehow I suspect he’s not smart enough to be putting together lesson plans for teaching his parents.

The other mom is so tired she can’t text responses.  “The baby feeds every couple hours.  When she freaks my husband freaks, and so I end up doing all the feedings.”

Sleep (or lack thereof) is an issue all parents face.  Speaking for myself, I don’t function well when lacking sleep.  In fact, I am pretty grumpy when not sleeping.

Children give parents plenty of opportunities to lose sleep.  And unless there are medical or illness issues, parents need to retake their position as parent and begin guiding the child.

Unless you are one of those lucky parents who have a child sleeping through the night from the beginning you will need to gently evolve the baby to sleeping through the night.  There is some debate as to when the child can do this, and generally at 4-6 months you can start making the shift.

This is one of those things inevitably harder on the parents than the child.  Babies do figure out pretty quickly how to get what they want, and parents need to remember they really do need to parent.

I’m an advocate of the Ferber method, because it works and it’s got a cool name you can use as a verb, “Ferberizing.”  Pediatrician Richard Ferber is the founder and former director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children’s Hospital in Boston and published Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems.  The basic concept is your baby makes associations when falling asleep (such as rocking or feeding,) and you need to train the baby instead to fall asleep in the crib.

You put the baby in the crib, say goodnight, and leave the room.  If the baby cries, and this is the hard part, let the baby cry for 5 minutes.  Then return to the room and, without picking up the baby, let the baby know you are around (and convince yourself nothing is horribly wrong.)  Then repeat, adding 5 minutes (bringing the total to 10).  Repeat again, bringing the total to 15, and so forth.

On subsequent nights, add 5 minutes to the first interval.

In under a week babies will shift the association to being in the crib with sleeping AND that crying won’t get them picked up.

It’s hard though.  Your offspring is crying out loud.  You want to comfort and be supportive.  And inconsistency makes Ferberizing ineffective. 

You need to remember you are the parent and you do know best. 

If after two weeks the child hasn’t shifted, talk to your pediatrician about other methods.

What method worked best with your children?

Wednesday
Mar142012

Sleep

A new mother (of two months) said to me recently, “I can’t wait until I get some sleep.”

All I could do is chuckle to myself.  It will be years before she regains rest!

When you have kids, you kiss sleep goodbye.  People I work with say I’m an early bird and the truth is I’m a night owl.  Unfortunately, being a night owl and having kids doesn’t work well.

When they are tiny they need feeding.  I’m all for breastfeeding, as it gave me more sleep.  My poor wife, however, was not as fortunate. 

As the kids get older, they start waking you up…to spend time with them.  While it conflicts with sleep, I found this to be one of the nicer times with the kids….watching cartoons in bed.

As they reach school age, school and weekend activities drive the schedule.  Going out on a “school night” takes on a whole different meaning…it begins to mean something to parents, too.

Middle school brings activities to a whole new level.  Plays, clubs, sports…all combine into a time sucking, sleep depriving time.

Once they reach driving age, you might think sleep returns.  To the contrary…the kids are out on the road and you can’t sleep until they return home.  You have to keep one ear open to make sure they are home safely.  This behavior is irrational; if something terrible were to happen being awake wouldn’t prevent it.  Yet most parents do this.

When they go to college, “out of sight, out of mind” comes into play.  Sleep patterns do slowly return. 

Of course, these patterns are interrupted when they come home from college, as the dog will bark, they garage door opener will wake you, etc.  The kids are not doing anything wrong; it’s just the noises of the house wake you up.

This is why I contend older people sleep so much.  They are making up for lost sleep time.

What are your experiences?