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Entries in Son (1)


What I told my son on his wedding day

In an earlier post, I indicated my son was getting married to a delightful young woman and I didn’t know what to say.

One night a week and a half before the wedding, I got a text from my son, asking if I would do a toast at the reception.  Included was a picture:

So now the pressure was on.

Fortunately, I am comfortable speaking in large groups.  No worries there.

I didn’t want to use notes….I wanted it to be more from the heart.

Plenty of people weighed in….

  • be profound
  • don’t be profound
  • they’ll find their way
  • you will always guide them

Obviously the broader community wasn’t aligning….although there is consensus, “Be as happy in your marriage as you are today,” is overused.

I did research on the internet.

Everything seemed so….sterile:

Let me honor the bride and groom for a moment. To my son, (Groom). Your giving spirit and your love have earned you most a special gift, your bride (Bride). Cherish her. (Bride), you are indeed a gift from heaven and we welcome you into our family with all our hearts, and we rejoice in (Groom)’s good fortune that he found you, and you him.

Or, I couldn’t use this, since I do cry

I never cry, but I’ll admit I was tearing up during today’s ceremony. How about the rest of you? Wasn’t it beautiful? Let’s toast to the joy, health and long life of the bride and groom!

(this commercial guarantees tears)


As I drove to the wedding….a simple theme crystallized in my mind.

What do I wish for them?  “The Best.”

I do believe in my heart they are “the best” for each other.  And I certainly want “the best” for them in their shared life together.

Getting married in a severe economic climate shows a desire to be together against all odds. 

So here’s my recollection of what I said:

“I realize I am standing between you and dinner so I’ll be brief.  The first time I had inkling this was the real deal was when Leland was moving out of his college apartment.  He wasn’t quite finished packing, and April and I found ourselves together in the kitchen cleaning. 

I remember thinking, “My Son is a private person, and he’s comfortable enough with April to have her help with a crappy job.  And she’s happy enough with him to do a crappy job.  There must be something here.

So (raising my glass), on this night we wish you the best.  You are the best for each other, and we wish you nothing but the best as you go forward together.”

I simply could not be happier for them.